Heaven Is For Real

Today marks one year since Mother's death. I love her and miss her as much as ever.

After my dad died, my sisters, my mom and I all read several books about the experiences of the dying. One was called Final Gifts and was written by hospice nurses. They told many incredible true life stories of the things hospice patients said and did in their final days. Often times, the dying patients spoke of seeing loved ones who had gone before them. We also read 90 minutes in Heaven, written by a man who died in a car accident but was revived again. Just a few months before my mom got sick, we all read the book Heaven is For Real. It is written by the father of a 4 year old boy who experienced Heaven during an emergency surgery. Months later he began telling his experience to his parents. He spoke of things that happened while he was in surgery...things that were impossible for him to know. He spoke of meeting a sister that his mom had miscarried...something he knew nothing about prior to his surgery. Most incredible was that he told of meeting Jesus and he remembered what he looked like. No matter what picture of Jesus his parents showed him, he said that was not the Jesus he had met. Then one day, the parents saw a picture of Jesus that had been drawn by another young child who also experienced Heaven. When shown this picture, the little boy immediately identified the man as the Jesus he had met in Heaven.

While Mother was in hospice, I longed to catch a glimpse of Heaven through her. At one point when she was sleeping, it was obvious to me that she was dreaming. When she awoke I asked if she had seen anyone in her dream. She told me "Yes, two people." When I asked her who they were she told me she couldn't remember. She then drifted of again. When she awoke again, I asked if she had seen the people again. She said yes. This time when I asked who they were, she responded, "Mike." Finally, I thought I was getting that glimpse I'd been looking for. Growing up, Mother had a favorite uncle...her Uncle Mike. Surely he'd be there waiting for her when she got to Heaven. Had she really seen him? Then remembering that she said she'd seen two people, I asked her who the other one was. She looked at me and said, "You". It then hit me that the "Mike" she had referred to was my brother Mike (named after her uncle). Mike and I were sitting on either side of her bed. I just had to chuckle to myself. I had been so intent on her giving me a glimpse of Heaven, that I had jumped to the conclusion of who she had seen in her dream. My first thought was, "I can't wait to tell her about this when we get back home from here. She is going to laugh about it." Then it hit me that I would never have that opportunity as she wouldn't be going home again.

I did ask Mother many times while in hospice if she'd seen Daddy yet. She always said, "No". My niece Alyssa (then 17) and I ran out to get lunch one day during Mother's final days. Alyssa told me that she had a theory on why Grandma always responded "No" to that question. She also said that if her theory was correct, Grandma would never tell us that she had seen him. Alyssa's thought was that once Grandma saw Grandpa, she would run to him and never look back, not even to tell us that she saw him. I told her she might be right. That still didn't stop me from continuing to ask Mother if she'd seen Daddy yet. Even a few hours before she died, I asked her. Her response was the same as every other time I asked, "No".

A few hours before my mom died, all of our family left her room so the nurses could bathe her. From all the books I'd read, it should have been obvious to me that she would choose that time to begin her final exit. Many times, hospice patients wait until their loved ones are out of the room, trying to protect them from the pain of witnessing their death. As soon as the nurses were done bathing Mother, we went back into her room. Immediately, Jo and I noticed that something was different. Mother's breathing had changed, and she just looked different. She was no longer alert. The nurses weren't immediately convinced that anything had changed. One later told me that although she didn't see the changes right away, she knew Jo and I were "in tune" to Mother and quickly realized we were right.

All of Mother's kids had seen her in the last 24 hours. Still, the three of us there at the time started making phone calls to the others that things were progressing rapidly. We gathered close around her bed and held her hands. I repeated her favorite bible verse to her: "Surely God is my salvation. I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord is my strength and my song. He has become my salvation." I told her that we'd be ok and take care of each other. I assured her that Lauren would be ok. I told her that her other children and some of her grandchildren were on their way. I also told her that if God and Daddy needed her before the rest of the family got there, it was ok to go. I talked to her until the end. Shortly before her death, the left side of her mouth curved up into an obvious smile, not once but twice. Everyone in the room noticed it. Then she was gone. To me it was obvious that those smiles meant she'd finally seen Daddy and Jesus. Alyssa was right. Mother never told us that she'd seen Daddy. Once she saw him, she ran to him and never looked back. But she smiled twice. And that was all the glimpse of Heaven I needed to know for sure that Heaven is For Real.

There is a song by Matthew West on the Christian music station I listen to brings me to tears every time I hear it. Mother, until I see you again, Save a Place For Me.


"Save A Place For Me"

Don't be mad if I cry
It just hurts so bad sometimes
'Cause everyday it's sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again

You know I bet it feels good
To have the weight of this world
Off Your shoulders now
I'm dreaming of the day
When I'm finally there with You

Save a place for me, save a place for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon
Save a place for me, save some grace for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon

I have asked the questions why
But I guess the answer's for another time
So instead I'll pray with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had You here

So You just save a place for me, save a place for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon
Save a place for me, save some grace for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there

I wanna live my life just like You did
And make the most of my time just like You did
And I wanna make my home up in the sky
Just like You did, oh, but until I get there
Until I get there

Just save a place for me, save a place for me
'Cause I will be there soon

Save a place for me, save a place for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon

Don't be mad if I cry
It just hurts so bad.