Be Still

"Just keep still." I wonder how many times I heard Daddy say those words over the years. It was his way of reminding us that in many instances, it's better to not say anything, because if you say what's on your mind, you will later regret it. There is excellent advice in those simple words. I can still hear his voice saying it. "Just keep still." Unfortunately, I sometimes hear the words after saying something that I immediately regret. On other occasions, I remember the words in time to save myself from a guilty conscience later.

Our Heavenly Father also offers us lots of wonderful advice. My favorite bible verse is Psalm 46:10. "Be still and know that I am God." A few years ago I even bought a little pocket sized stone that had those words on it. Actually I bought two because one side of the stone had the words "Be still" and the other had the words "And know that I am God". I know that it doesn't take much effort to turn the stone over, but I sometimes need to see the whole verse at once.

On Tuesday, June 14, 2011, I picked up the prayer shawl (I previously mentioned this in another entry) from church and started my 3 hour drive to LaCrosse to spend a few days with my mom. We knew she had cancer and that the prognosis was "weeks rather than months." These drives alone had become a time of prayer and talking to God for me. There was a specific thing I'd prayed for concerning my mom for a very long time. It had nothing to do with her physical health, but rather with her peace of mind. In the past, when I'd prayed about this I often suggested to God my ideas of how to accomplish it. This day my prayer was different. I don't know if it was knowing that Mother was dying or that I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I'd like to think that I "wised up" but it may have been as simple as finally giving into the fact that I didn't have all the answers. But my prayer was simple: "God, you know what Mother needs and what is best for her. Your will be done."  And I immediately heard a response. "Be still and know that I am God." I didn't hear an actual voice saying the words, but I most definitely felt them in my heart. And I knew God was speaking to me. I should mention that in the past, I heard others say that God spoke to them and I wondered what they were smoking to think they heard God's voice. So if you think I've lost my mind, I understand. But when it happens to you, you just know. And for the record, I wasn't smoking anything or drinking anything either.

Not long after I arrived at the hospital, Mother started mentioning the situation she needed peace with. It was obvious that it was the most urgent thing on her mind. She was worried that she wouldn't get that peace "in time." I told her that the peace she wanted could only come from God. I remembered hearing the words, "Be still and know that I am God" on the drive down. God did have a  plan and things started happening. Before noon the next day, I became a firm believer that miracles still happen. I swear that I witnessed a miracle or two that morning. And it was more beautiful than any of the suggestions I had given God. Mother wasn't suddenly healed physically, but she had the peace that she needed. I asked her a few of times in her final days if she was at peace and she always said yes.

Just as I sometimes forget my earthly father's advice of  "Just keep still" until after words slip out of my mouth, I don't always seem to remember my Heavenly Father's advice to "Be still and know that I am God" until I am frustrated and ready to give up hope. But at some point the words of advice come back to me. And they bring me the peace of knowing that I don't have to have all the answers. God has a plan and things are starting to happen. And the result will be more beautiful than my own ideas. God's will be done!