In the early 1980's, when I was in high school, Rubik's Cube made it's debut on store shelves. My brother, Mike and I spent hour upon hour trying to figure out how to solve it. There was no Internet back then so we couldn't easily find the solution. Daddy was convinced that we would never figure it out. That only made us more determined. Daddy then told us that if either of us solved Rubik's Cube without cheating, he would pay that person $100. I know he thought it was a safe bet. I've promised outlandish things to my own kids when I knew there was no way I'd ever have to pay up. Lauren still reminds me of the time when she was about 6 and still sucked her thumb. I promised her a big flat screen TV for her room if she stopped that very minute and never sucked her thumb again. Lucky for me, she wasn't ready to quit yet. Living on a farm in 1984, that $100 offer was as big of a deal to me as the big flat screen TV was to Lauren. Lucky for me, Daddy didn't set an immediate deadline. Weeks later (Okay, probably months later), as I was endlessly working my Rubik's Cube, I made a turn on it, and it was solved! I had no idea how I had solved it, but I had. And Daddy came through on his promise. He paid me $100. To this day, I don't know the solution. I know how to get all the corners correct and then I am stuck. I just checked the Internet to see how many possible ways a Rubik's Cube can be arranged. The answer is approximately 43 quintillion (that's 43 with 18 zeros after it). I'm pretty sure that's about how many ways I had it arranged before it fell into place for me. So what does this story have to do with anything? Maybe nothing, but I'm going to try to make a connection anyway.
This year during Lent, our church is doing a series of Wednesday night services that piece together our journey from brokenness to wholeness...from death to life. At each service a piece is added to a puzzle that is displayed. My understanding is that we are each a piece of that puzzle and really that each of our lives is made up of pieces that have to be fit together in order for us become whole. I think each of us at times has met someone or had an experience where we felt like a piece to our life puzzle was just put in place.
Last week's Wednesday night speaker was incredible. Mark is a Jewish man who regularly attends services at our church. It kind of sounds like it should be the beginning of a joke: "A Jewish man walks into a Lutheran church..." Mark's girlfriend, Cindy has been a member at our church for many years. I've known who both of them are for a few years but really only met them at a graduation party last summer. Cindy and I have talked at church a few times. She knows about my red fox sightings and she told me of signs she had seen when her own dad passed away. I had no idea what Mark was going to speak about, but in hindsight, when he started out by saying that he can't speak about God without crying, I should have pulled out the tissues right away. His story was about being in the depths of depression, losing everything he had, and being on the brink of suicide. And by "on the brink of suicide" I mean he met with his therapist and told him he was going to end his life. While the therapist never told him not to do it, the conversation they had that day saved Mark's life. At some point down the road, Mark saw a tiny speck of light...hope. He called out to God in prayer and asked for a sign to be sent to him. Shortly thereafter, he met Cindy. He later realized that Cindy was (in his words) a sign and an angel from God. Never before in his life had he entertained the idea of dating a non-Jewish person. Cindy was Christian. She invited him to a service at our church. He has been returning for years. He remains Jewish and she remains Christian. A couple of years ago, Mark saw an obituary for the therapist who saved his life. The therapist had committed suicide. Mark was unable to attend the funeral and attempts to contact the family were unsuccessful. Then a week later, he and Cindy were leaving our church together when Mark noticed a prayer request in the bulletin. The request was for a woman named Millie, who had recently lost her nephew. The nephew's name was listed and it was Mark's former therapist, the one who had committed suicide. Cindy had known Millie for years and introduced Mark to her. Mark was able to provide some comfort to Millie's family....comfort in knowing that their family member had saved another life, even though he had taken his own. I know Millie, but never knew any of this story before. Millie's family was with her in church, not far from where we were sitting. Also present were Mark's dad and step-mom. Mark told us that he'd had a strained relationship with his dad, but in the past few years, they had reconciled. He thanked both his dad and step mom for being there for him throughout his struggles.
After the service, I spoke with both Mark and Cindy. I told them how touched I was by their story. I've had my own issues with depression and anxiety. I've had my own experiences with signs from God, but the signs Mark received were so incredible. I truly don't know how anyone could not see it as God's hand at work. It was as though God's hand truly was putting pieces of a puzzle together.
A couple of days later, I had a note from Cindy saying that she and Mark would like to meet with me for a few minutes. I was afraid I'd offended them in some way. She assured me that was not the case. When I met with them, they handed me a little box. Inside was a beautiful collectible red fox figurine. Mark and Cindy told me that there was a story behind it. After Mark's talk at church, they had gone out for a bite to eat with Mark's dad and step mom. They were chatting about the church service and signs from God. Cindy mentioned that I'd seen signs in my red fox sightings. Mark's dad asked if they were good signs and Cindy said yes. He then went on to say that he had a red fox figurine and wondered if they would like to give it to me. Mark told me his dad has hundreds of animal figurines and was surprised he remembered this particular one. I hadn't met Mark's dad, but some how my fox sign stories combined with Mark's talk which included several signs from God, inspired him to offer this collectible figurine to me. I was incredibly touched.
Later that evening, it dawned on me that Cindy's name is Cindy. Okay, that sounds kind of stupid. Obviously I knew her name, but Cindy was also the name of the stillborn baby girl my mom had in 1957. I sent Cindy a note telling her the story about my sister and it turns out that this Cindy was born in 1958. It is also interesting that both of them were named Cindy, not Cynthia. I told Cindy that maybe it's a sign that she should be my honorary sister.
This week's speaker was a woman named Monie. She spoke about the importance of focusing on God, not other things in our lives. The way she explained it was that God designs us as a puzzle, a puzzle where there is one empty space left, one piece missing. Throughout our lives we try to fit different pieces into that empty spot. We might try money, fame, reputation or even seemingly good things like family or friends. But these things never fit perfectly into the empty spot. That is because God is the only piece that really fits. He is the only thing that really completes us and holds us together.
I love jigsaw puzzles and I assemble several every winter. While Monie spoke, I thought of how often when putting together a jigsaw puzzle, I spot what I think is the piece I'm looking for. It looks like the right size, shape and color. But when I try to fit it in place, it doesn't work. I don't give up easily, so I often push a little harder on the piece hoping it will slip into place. But there is only one piece that fits into each spot in the puzzle and try as I might, I can't make the piece fit in the wrong spot. How true is that in our lives as well? How many times do we try the same things over again in the same way we always have, and some how we think we will get a different result? It doesn't work that way. I know I personally have done this with many areas of my life. No matter how hard we try, we can't make the wrong piece fit. The more I think about it, the more I believe that we are each like a jigsaw puzzle. God is the only piece that fits into that God shaped space within us. He is the only thing that completes us.
I also think that our lives are like a Rubik's Cube. We are all held together by one central force: God. Life twists and turns each of us in every imaginable direction. Some days things look pretty good and it seems that everything is starting to fall into place. Then without notice, our lives are turned completely around by a diagnosis, a tragedy, a bad decision, etc. Suddenly, nothing looks familiar to us. We are that green square on the Rubik's Cube that is completely out of place. We are lost in the midst of differently colored squares. Things look frightening from here. Surely nothing will ever be the same. Yet when we are lost in a sea of blue, red and yellow squares, those other colored squares are away from their familiar surroundings as well. They each feel the same way...lost and alone. We can take comfort in each other. Only when we are lost and alone do we learn that everyone is in one way or another. We each have stories, issues and wounds. Each square we touch, each person we meet, has a purpose in our lives. With a twist, we meet someone who understands, is willing to listen, who helps us along this road called life. Sometimes after a while, we feel ourselves getting back to familiar surroundings, the other green squares. But we realize that at any moment, another twist can throw us out of sync again. We are unable to control the twists and turns of life. Yet with each turn our lives are touched by another. With each twist, we touch another's life. Maybe we aren't lost after all. Maybe we are exactly where we are supposed to be. God always remains at the center of us. He holds us all together. We are all connected through him. We are all equal. We are all the same under our colored stickers, under the labels we put on ourselves and each other. God is bigger than any parameters we try to put around Him. He made each of us, regardless of our race, religion, income level, or issues. He is there with us through every one of the 43 quintillion twists and turns of life. He's there when we are in familiar territory and when we feel lost. Just like that internal mechanism of the Rubik's Cube, He is deep within us, binding us to each other and holding us close to Himself.
*When I researched how many possible arrangements there were for a Rubik's Cube, I found that the inventor, Erno Rubik's birthday is July 13. That is also my sister Cindy's birthday. That convinced me to write this post.
