Popcorn Balls

After the kids left for school this morning, I did a quick clean up of the house. Since they'll be home for the next 10 days on Christmas break, I wanted the satisfaction of knowing the house was at least clean at the beginning of those ten days. When I got to Lauren's room, there was a bowl of mostly eaten popcorn from last night. There was also an almost empty mug of hot chocolate. As I picked up the bowl and mug, the scent of popcorn and sweetness wafted up and for a minute I was 10 years old again and it was Christmas Eve morning and we were making popcorn balls.

Christmas Eve morning there was always a bustle of activity in the farm house. With eight kids in the house, it was rare to ever have a quiet moment. But on Christmas Eve morning, it was busier and crazier than any ever. While Christmas cookies had been made ahead of time, fudge, divinity and popcorn balls were always made at this time. Mother would cook the fudge and it seemed to me that she was never very pleased with the way it turned out. Linda was in charge of the divinity. From what I remember, most of us kids pitched in to make popcorn balls. First we would pop incredible amounts of popcorn and put it into a huge bowl. Then we'd cook the sticky syrup according to the Betty Crocker Cookbook. We would argue over what color the popcorn balls should be every year. Eventually we'd agree and food coloring was added to the syrup. The hot syrup was then poured over the popcorn and one of my older siblings would stir it. When it was sufficiently mixed, we would all dip our hands into a bowl of very cold water and then grab some of the hot gooey popcorn and form it into balls. We'd let the popcorn balls cool on waxed paper, eagerly waiting to be able to eat that sweet and salty treat.

After the treats were made, the kids would run upstairs and start bringing down presents we'd had hidden away. Now the presents were placed under the Christmas tree while Mother would begin preparing food for Christmas Day. The excitement of Christmas was in full swing!

On Christmas Eve, evening chores were always started early. The children's Christmas program was that night and we had to get to church early. We girls would each wear a new dress that Mother sewed for us for the program each year. Church was always completely full on this night. The children would march down the long aisle singing "Come Hither Ye Children" to open the service. We would sit in several of the front pews of the church. After all the children were seated, the clanking of metal folding chairs could be heard as more seating was made available in the church aisles. Grade by grade, we would then tell the story of Jesus birth. The last song of the night was always Glory to God. I can still remember every word of the song and feel the excitement of everyone in the church as we all sang at the top of our lungs.

Once the Christmas program was over, all the children would receive a brown paper bag with an apple, an orange, a couple hand fulls of peanuts and hard candy. Now it's hard to believe how much we loved those simple goodie bags. Once we got back to the farm, it was time to open Christmas presents.

I really don't remember many of the gifts I got back then. But there were a couple of things we could be sure of. Mother always spent $20 on each of us. She would save her money up from each milk check (or in later years social security checks). And she wanted to spend exactly the same on each of us. I mean down to the last penny exact! Each of us would also receive an envelope from Daddy with $10 in it. When Uncle Dale lived with us, we each received an envelope with $5 from him. The first Christmas after Daddy died, Mother gave us each an envelope that said Merry Christmas from Heaven and had the usual $10 from Daddy in it. She also included a beautiful poem she had received about how he was spending Christmas in Heaven with Jesus. It was very touching. Last year, we each had an envelope from Mother (courtesy of my sister Jo). Mother had been saving up money for Christmas that year as she had every year. She died about half way through the year, so we each received the $10 that she had saved up for each of us. Again, it was very touching. After opening gifts, we always would have dried beef and cheese sandwiches, cookies, pumpkin bread, cinnamon rolls and maybe even a popcorn ball.

This will be our second Christmas without Mother and our fourth without Daddy.  We continue to gather on Christmas Eve as we always have. We still open presents when everyone arrives and we still eat dried beef sandwiches and all the yummy treats. Except I can't remember the last time we had popcorn balls. There is an emptiness without Mother and Daddy there to celebrate with us, but I know they are celebrating in Heaven and that makes it all okay.

It's amazing what memories a simple whiff of popcorn and sweetness can bring to mind.

You Are Still Here

You are in the pink sunrise

And my children’s laughs

In the cookies baked

And presents wrapped

In the phrases I say

In the home that I make

In the prayers that I pray

Every morning I wake

In my boy’s love of baking

In the naps that I need

In my girls’ love of books

And in the speed with which they read

In Lauren’s love of visiting

In Dani’s need to “mother”

And in the way Evan imitates

Your characteristic shudder

In the stillness alone

Where I hear your advice

And your reminder

That these are the best years of my life

In the dutchman’s breeches of spring

And the dandelions that follow

In the harvest of fall

And in cold winter’s hollow

When God called you home

Eternity to see

I whispered that you would

Always remain part of me

Those words that I spoke

When you had to leave

Were more true than I knew

Truer than I ever believed

You heard my first cry

I saw your last breath

Our connection can’t be broken

Not even by death

Although now in Heaven

You are never far away

I see you and hear you

Hundreds of times every day

In the air that I breathe

I can still feel your love

And I know you’re sending hugs

From Heaven above

You were a part of me

From my very start

Now you live on forever

Inside of my heart