Red Fox, Revisited

 

one of two red fox in our backyard 6/24/12



Early on in my blogging, I posted an entry called "Does God Smell Like a Red Fox?" I told how after my dad died, a red fox kept appearing in our back yard, on my morning walks and other  times  when I just needed a little "sign" from above. When my sister Jo was diagnosed with breast cancer last winter, the fox appeared again after a long hiatus. Then on the morning of June 24 of this year, I looked out the window, and there were two red foxes in the back yard! That day was the one year anniversary of my mom's funeral.

 

As our daughter, Danielle's confirmation day was approaching recently, I just had a feeling that the red fox would be showing up again.  Fearing my husband and kids would think I'd lost it, I didn't tell them. Last Tuesday afternoon, Eric and I were gone to school conferences with Lauren and Evan. When we got home, Dani told me that she had seen a fox in the backyard while we were gone! I then told them that I'd had a feeling the red fox would be showing up.

When I originally wrote about the red fox sightings, I mentioned that I didn't think my dad was coming back to me in the form of a fox. But I felt that God knows each of us so intimately, that he knows what things to send our way to feel His presence. I still believe that. My dad trapped hundreds of red foxes in his younger years and seeing foxes after my dad died, just brought me peace. I had shared that with my mom. When the fox sightings happened again while she was dying and at significant times after she was gone, the peace continued. God knew I found comfort in seeing the fox and sent it when I most needed it.



Eric brushed off the connection between the fox sightings and God as coincidence. One day last year I was talking to him about it and prefaced my story with, "I know you'll think I'm nuts, but..." He stopped me part way through my story and told me that he didn't think I was nuts. He said he only wished he could be as certain as I was in my belief. I understood that. There were many times that others spoke of their faith with such certainty that I envied them. If only I had as strong of a faith as they did. And yet some how I just knew these fox sightings were from God. I just knew. Just a couple of weeks ago, Eric shared with me a dream he had. In it, he was talking to someone about my fox sightings. He told the person that to an unbeliever, the sightings were just a coincidence. To the skeptic, they were a possible sign. And to the believer, well...they just knew. I had to go one extra step, so I asked him which of those categories he fell into. He was honest and said he fell into the skeptic category. I'm ok with that. It's a step up from how he originally viewed it.



Great niece Meghan
and Obbles



Grant and Zach giving
kisses to Ms. Dani

My view on the red fox has actually evolved a bit too. None of us actually saw a red fox on Dani's confirmation day. Yes, she saw one several days before and I do find comfort in that. On Sunday, we were busy celebrating with family and friends and never bothered to look out the back windows of the house. There could have been a fox or two out there, but if there were, they went unnoticed. However, I saw other "red fox" that day. The joy of seeing Dani and her friends declare their faith...red fox. Hearing some of Dani's faith statement in Pastor Morrie's beautiful sermon...red fox. Watching two little boys from her church school class sneaking up to sit with Dani...red fox. Feeling Mother and Daddy's presence as Pastor Tim confirmed Dani...red fox. Seeing the mom of one of the church school boys crying in Dani's arms after reading the tribute Dani had written to her...red fox. Talking with this same mom and realizing how much more deeply Dani's words described her than even Dani knew...red fox. Watching new children play with Obbles, my favorite childhood toy...red fox. Seeing the gift of Dani's confirmation plaque from Grandpa and Grandma Betz, all the way from Heaven...red fox.



Dani's confirmation plaque
My dad made the plaque,
instructing my mom to get
it engraved. Dani picked
her verse while Grandma
was still alive. My sister
Jo had the retired local
jeweler do the engraving.



Yes, my view on the red fox has changed. I still believe that God sends me comfort and peace and love through my red fox sightings. But I now see how limited my definition of "red fox" was before.  Red fox come in many forms. They aren't just red and they aren't just foxes. "Red fox" come in whatever form God chooses to allow me to feel His presence. If I had sat around on Sunday, waiting to see a red fox in the usual form, I would have missed the numerous ones all around me.

How can I be so certain? When it happens to you, you just know. You just know!

May your day be blessed with red fox sightings.