Twenty Years as a Stay at Home Mom

Being a stay at home mom was not what I dreamed of when I was in college, majoring in business administration and marketing. Back then my dream job was to work for Hallmark's Shoe Box Greeting Cards, writing funny and sarcastic cards. I hoped to some day meet "a nice young man" (my mom's words), get married and have a family. I figured we'd send our kids to day care and I'd head off to write hilarious greeting cards every morning. I'd pick the kids up after work, make delicious dinners that everyone would eat without complaining, and have a spotless house because our kids would willingly pick up toys and help keep the place clean. However, I didn't want a white picket fence as that was too cliché and would need repainting too often.

Fast forward a few years and I met a nice young man named Eric. He asked me out on our first date while I was at work. No, I wasn't writing Shoebox Greeting Cards yet, but I was working in the lingerie department at JC Penney, which was providing me with great material for when I landed my dream job. After a couple of years dating, we got married and bought a house in the suburbs. The house had a chain link fence, which required no maintenance. I now had a job doing collection work for a company. While I was always professional on the phone, I may have polished up on my sarcasm after many of those collection calls.

After four and a half years of marriage, we had our daughter, Danielle. We found a wonderful home day care just down the street from us. Marilyn had 7 children of her own and loved Danielle like one of her own. She was patient and cheerful and after doing day care all day, she worked at a nursing home in the evenings. We loved Marilyn.


But something inside of me changed. Each weekday morning I'd mutter an expletive as I shut off my alarm clock. Dropping my baby off and heading to work was difficult. I wanted to be at home seeing her change and grow every day. I wanted to be there for all of her "firsts". But we didn't think we could make it on one income. I asked about working part time at my job, but it wasn't an option. So I started searching for a part time job. Remember when the Classified Ads in the Sunday paper was how you found a job? Each Sunday morning I would comb through those ads and never find a worthwhile part time job. Then one Sunday morning when I woke up, Eric told me that he already checked the ads and circled one that he thought fit me. I asked if it was part time and he it wasn't. Didn't he know that part time was important? What full time job could possibly be the right fit? Then I found the job he had circled:

Need a change? Be a Stay at Home Mom. 16 month Mom experience req'd. Benefits; well raised daughter, place in heaven, happy family; 9 month expansion plan to greater responsibility. Call 537-5788 ask for Danielle.

Eric isn't referred to as a romantic very often, but this was truly one of the sweetest things anyone ever did for me. It still took a few weeks to convince me that we could actually make it work on his income alone. But twenty years ago today, May 22, 1998, was my last day at work and the day I became a stay at home mom.

In those first years at home, I made a daily to do list, making sure I was still being productive. That fell by the wayside once that "9 month expansion plan" happened. Over the years I have occasionally questioned whether being home with the kids was the best thing for them. I've had people question what I do all day, especially once the kids went to school. I've wondered what we could have done with the extra income I could have brought in. But I always come back to the realization that the decision we made works for our family. That is all that really matters. And life at home with a husband, three kids and a dog has provided plenty of material if Shoebox Greetings happens to call with a job offer.

The Difference Between "F - it" and Faith

Despite what you might think from some of my past writings, I am not always full of faith. In fact, I have plenty of moments where the phrase, “F – it” goes through my mind. I’m betting most people have similar thoughts. While other’s thoughts might not be as offensive as mine, everyone has their moments thinking, “What’s the use?”, “Why keep on trying?” or simply, “I give up!”

 I have found that the best thing I can do when I’m having an “F – it” kind of day, is to go for a long walk out in nature. I am especially drawn to the woods. A little disclaimer here: I go for walks in the woods many days. This doesn’t mean that every walk is due to me having an “F – it” kind of day. Rather, I have found that regardless my state of mind or mood when I start my walk, it has always improved by the end of my walk.

 My walks are more soul exercise than physical exercise. While I’ve always liked walking in nature, my dog, Levi has taught me to take in my surroundings, rather than hurry past them. He likes to stop and sniff often on our walks. I used to hurry him along, but eventually started looking closely at nature every time he stopped to sniff. Clouds, trees, flowers, insects, birds and animals all started grabbing my attention. Soon after, I started carrying a camera along on our walks. As I began to see the mystery and miracles of this world all around me in nature, I started photographing them.

Right about the time I started carrying my camera along on walks, I had decided to focus on the word “faith” for a year, in place of making a New Year’s resolution. Also about that time, I came across a tree in the shape of an “F”. And I thought, “F for faith,” and snapped a couple pictures. Over the next several months, I also found the letters, a, i, t, and h in the woods. And, of course I snapped pictures of each of them. I loved the fact that I had literally found faith spelled out on my walks.

 While I found the letters to faith within a short period of time, it actually took me longer to realize that every walk I took bolstered my faith. Whether I stopped to look at the intricate details of a wildflower, or listened to a chickadee greeting me, I was mesmerized. Whether fragrant blossoms adorned the trees, colorful autumn leaves were falling or bare branches awaited the promise of spring, I could relate to the trees. When I spotted a deer and noticed she was watching me too, I felt connection.

A couple of years later, as I walked by the “F” tree on a walk once again, it occurred to me that “F – it” can be found in the word “Faith”.  The only difference between “F – it” and Faith is that Faith also contains the letters “a” and “h”.

“Ah.”

I find myself witnessing many “ah” moments on my walks. And it's precisely in those “ah” moments that I find in nature, that my attitude of “F – it” is transformed to an attitude of Faith.

Five Years

Five years ago today, June 19, 2011 was also a Sunday, and also Father’s Day. It was also a steamy hot day, just like today. That morning, I awoke in a hospital in La Crosse, WI. I’d been there since Tuesday, spending time with my mom, who was in hospice there. I’d slept in the family waiting room Saturday night so a couple of my other sisters could sleep in my mom’s room with her. I remember waking in the middle of the night and as I had trouble falling back asleep, I sensed God tell me, “Rest my child.” I was able to fall asleep then. The next time I awoke, was when my sister, Linda came into the waiting room to tell me she was going to be heading home for the day to milk cows and do other necessary farm chores. I went back to my mom’s room and overheard precious words that Linda spoke to my mom.

Mother was quite alert that morning. She spoke a lot and looking back, much of what she said to my sister Joanne and me signaled that she was hovering between this life and Heaven. Family visited again that day. In mid-afternoon, family stepped out of Mother’s room while the nurses bathed her. When we came back into the room an hour later, Joanne and I both noticed a huge change. She had a different look, her breathing had changed and she was no longer responsive. We notified other family members. We held her hands. We told her how much we loved her. We told her she’d always be a part of us. We told her that Daddy was waiting for her in Heaven. The left side of her mouth curled up in a smile, twice, one right after another. She took one final breath, and her spirit left her earthly body.

I remember thinking that those smiles must have meant she’d seen my dad and Jesus waiting for her. And I recall feeling like one moment I was holding her hand, and the next moment God was. It was such a bittersweet moment. I was ecstatic for Mother to be in Heaven with Daddy and Jesus. Yet I was devastated at the thought of life here without her. But mostly I remember thinking how blessed I’d been to spend her final days with her and that I would never doubt the existence of God again.

So here I am five years later…1827 days later.

So much has changed. Instead of a 14 year-old and two 9-year olds, we now have a 19 year-old who has just finished her first year in college and two 14-year olds who are about to start high school. And we have a three-year old dog, Levi. I can only imagine what Mother would think of me agreeing to get a dog!

I’m not the same person I was 5 years ago, not just because of losing Mother, but because life continues and you go on. And every experience changes you and shapes you. A lot has happened in five years. We like to classify things and “good” or “bad”, but really everything just helps us to evolve into who we are meant to be. Perhaps into who we really were all along. I wonder what Mother would say about me “putting myself out there” in ways I never had while she was alive. I wonder what she’d think of the person I am today.

I think back to that day five years ago and the thought I had then about never again doubting God’s existence. My faith had been bolstered greatly by all I experienced being with my mom in hospice. How could I ever question again? Just as I’m no longer the person I was five years ago, my faith isn’t the exactly the same either. It evolves with every experience. I think, I wonder, I question things. Some days my faith feels strong, some days…not so much. But it never leaves me. I have no doubt that God exists. 

On a couple of occasions, I’ve had people tell me that my faith inspires them. When that has happened, I’ve thought, “Really? My faith inspires you? How can that be?” Maybe it’s because the people who have said this to me have actually inspired me with their faith. These people admit that their faith is stronger some days than others. They admit they question things. They live, they love, they question, they experience, they grow. And along the way, their faith evolves.  

Perhaps what I saw with my mom in her final days was actually witnessing her faith come full circle. In the midst of my heartache those days, there was an indescribable beauty. I saw her emotional pain, the depth of her love, and the wonder of the child within her. I witnessed her faith evolving into what she was meant to be, what she was all along…a precious child of God.

God held his hand out to her that day, and she grasped it. In that ultimate step of faith, she was reunited with her earthly Dad, her husband who was Daddy to her children, and her Heavenly Father.

Happy Father’s Day indeed!

 

 

Pulling Strings in Heaven

Our oldest daughter, Danielle is about to start her senior year in high school. She will actually only be taking two classes at her high school this year. She will take the rest of her classes at the local community college. Those courses will earn her both high school and college credits that will transfer to whatever college she chooses to attend next year. She is very excited about only spending two hours at the high school each day.

We started looking at colleges last spring. Dani was certain she wanted to stay within the Twin Cities. She wanted to be away from home, but not far away. She has known for several years that she wants to be an elementary school teacher. She loves kids and they love her. She's taught Sunday School and VBS at our church for several years. She also has loved working with kids on the mission trips she has gone on. Kids just naturally gravitate toward her.

This summer, we visited several schools in the Twin Cities. She also wanted to visit Gustavus Adolphus College in St. Peter, MN. It's roughly 90 minutes away from home. It surprised me that she wanted to even visit somewhere outside the Cities. Dani, Lauren and I visited GAC during MN Private College Week earlier this summer. I was astounded by the beauty of the campus. I was also amazed to see the look on Dani's face. I could tell she liked it a lot. She later told me that as we walked around campus, she knew there was something very different about this campus compared to the Twin Cities college campuses, but she couldn't put her finger on it. It finally hit her...it was quiet! No traffic buzzing by, no sirens or honking horns from the bustle of the city. She said it was like someone put a college on a hill in Caledonia (the small SE MN farming community where I grew up). Perhaps that comment should have been a clue that my mom was up to something in Heaven.

We decided that another trip to visit GAC was in order, and that Eric should go along since Dani was seriously considering this college. It made sense to schedule the trip before high school starts up again.

Then, last week while on facebook, I saw a post from a "friend" of mine, Jenni. It stated that she and her husband had just bought a house in St. Peter. I put the word friend in quotes, because I had never actually met Jenni. I became friends with her on facebook after my mom died. I had met her dad, Curt, at my dad's funeral.

Years earlier, Curt showed up at my parent's farm with several kids in tow, inquiring about hunting on my parent's land. My dad agreed to let them hunt and after that, Curt was basically one of the family. He and his kids would visit my parents whenever they would come to hunt.When we would visit my parents, I would inevitably hear stories about how nice Curt and his family were. My mom was especially fond of Curt's daughter, Jenni. She would always tell me "Jenni is such a nice little person." When I met Curt at my dad's funeral, I understood why my parents loved him. He was just a genuinely nice guy.

Curt also came to my mom's funeral. This time, he brought his wife, Deb, along. Curt told us that Jenni really wanted to come for my mom's funeral but she was pregnant with her second daughter at the time and having preterm labor issues, so was unable to travel. I then friended Jenni on facebook and we exchanged a few stories and memories of my parents. I hoped we would one day meet.

So last week, when I saw Jenni's facebook post about buying a house in St. Peter, I sent her a message saying that my parents must still be trying to get her and I to meet. I explained that Dani was interested in Gustavus and that if she chose to go there, Jenni would have a babysitter for her two girls. Imagine my surprise when Jenni messaged back that her husband, Colby is the head baker at Gustavus!  She said to let her know when we planned to visit GAC again.

I know some people still are skeptical about my "red fox moments" as I call them, but like I've said before, when it happens to you, you just know. Not only did Jenni say her husband worked at Gustavus, but he is the head baker. My mom loved baking. She always had cookies and other baked treats on hand in case anyone stopped by to visit. And her dad (my grandpa) owned and ran the bakery in Caledonia when he was alive!

I messaged Jenni when we set up our Gustavus visit for today. I didn't think there was much chance of seeing her, but thought there was a slight chance of running into her husband. I mentioned it to Eric and Dani, but neither really said much, as they didn't know the connection.

The college visit was great, and I believe Gustavus is now at the top of Dani's list of potential colleges. We met with an Admission's Counselor, toured campus and met with the Teacher Education Coordinator of the Education Department. We were told that after that meeting, we would be given meal tickets to eat in the cafeteria. Again, I thought maybe we'd run into Jenni's husband. But Dani decided that she'd rather have lunch somewhere in the town of St. Peter.

The Admissions Office gave us a few suggestions of places to try. We drove by the suggested places and chose one: a bar and grill named Patrick's. We walked in and chose a table. When no waitress came by after a few minutes, we decided to move to a table in another room. As we walked into that room, I couldn't believe what I saw. There were Jenni and Colby sitting with another woman (Jenni's mom) at the first booth we walked by. I was walking behind Eric and grabbed his arm, to tell him who this was. Before I could even say the words, Jenni saw me and jumped up to hug me. We'd only seen each other's pictures on facebook, but knew each other instantly. She gave Eric a hug before he had any clue who she was!

Jenni invited us to have lunch with them. As we ate our burgers, she told stories about going to Caledonia to hunt with her dad. She said there were times that she would choose to spend a good part of the day visiting with my mom rather than hunting. Just talking with her, I understood why my mom loved her so much. She is kind and loving and funny. She told Dani that if she chooses to go to school at Gustavus that she will be her "mom away from Mom".  Eric commented later that it would be more like "sister away from Mom" since Jenni is no where near as old as us.

As I reflect on the day, I think of how many things fell into place so that Jenni and I ended up meeting. If she hadn't posted about buying a house in St. Peter, I never would have messaged her about Gustavus,  never would have know Colby was a baker there, never would have let her know we were visiting today. If we chose to eat on campus, or if a waitress had come to the first table we chose at Patrick's, we never would have met each other today.

While my dear mom said she "never did a lot" in her life, she sure pulled a few strings up in Heaven to get Jenni and I to meet today. Mother always said she was sneaky and my dad always said that God works in mysterious ways. I am certain they worked together in all that happened today. It was definitely a red fox day. When it happens to you, you just know.

It's too soon to know if Gustavus is where Dani will end up attending college. But I am confident God has a plan. And things will fall into place to happen according to His plan.

See You Next Time

Four years ago today Daddy was called home to Heaven. It was a Thursday: The Thursday after Easter. We'd been to the farm and celebrated Easter with my family on Saturday. On Easter morning, we left to have brunch with Eric's family. Before leaving, I went through the normal routine with my dad. He was having his breakfast and I slipped my arm around him for a hug. As he slowly said "Good-bye", I said, "See you next time." I always said "See you next time" because "Good-bye" seemed to permanent to me.

Daddy had already surpassed the doctor's prediction of "3 to 6 months left to live", so we knew our time with him was limited. Each time we saw him, he was more frail. He hadn't walked since Christmas (with the exception of one day walking from his bedroom to the living room, which no one witnessed.) He needed help with all his basic needs. Each time I helped to dress him he looked thinner than before. We knew it was only a matter of time.

Although he was unable to speak much any more, he always knew his kids and grand kids. But on Good Friday morning, as I sat in a chair just outside the bedroom, he looked at me and said, "Who are you?" I simply said, "I'm your youngest daughter, Kim. You know me. I'm Danielle, Lauren and Evan's mom." He seemed satisfied with that answer. As I helped get him dressed that morning, he looked at me and said, "Where are you?" Remembering his earlier question, I asked, "Where am I or who am I?" He repeated, "Where are you?" I replied, "I'm right here with you." He responded, "I like you!" I said, "I like you too." Months later as I read books about the experiences of the dying, I wondered about those things he asked me that morning. I read that often when people are nearing death, they will be "between Heaven and Earth". They may see relatives who have gone before them yet still see their earthly surroundings as well. I wondered if possibly he was really asking me if I was on Earth or in Heaven when he asked me where I was.

On Tuesday (two days before he died), Daddy was able to wheel the office chair he sat in, across the kitchen floor to the window. He then, some how, pulled himself to standing and looked out at the farm, toward the barn, one last time.

That Wednesday, my sister, Jo, called to let me know that Mother had called and asked her to come out to the farm. Daddy wasn't able to get out of bed that day. Perhaps I should have known and driven down. But he'd been close to Heaven's door a few times and always came back to us. My sister, Kathy, flew to Reno that day for a bowling tournament.

On Thursday afternoon, the phone rang. I answered, "Hello?" No one was there. This happened another couple of times and I was getting tired of it. I assumed it was a telemarketer. So the next time the phone rang, I answered with a smart aleck "Good-bye." Only this time, it was my sister, Jo. It had been her the other times too, on her cell phone which didn't get good reception at the farm. She quickly told me that she'd taken my mom to a scheduled doctor appointment and on the way home, she'd gotten a call from my sister-in-law, Leah who'd stayed with my dad. Leah could tell my dad had taken a turn for the worse. Jo wasn't sure if this "was it" or not. When I got off the phone with her, the kids walked in the door from school. They started telling me something they needed and I snapped at them that Grandpa was dying. I immediately felt guilty for breaking it to them like that. Evan ran out the door. I later found out that he ran to his friend Jake's, two houses away. He walked right into their house without knocking and went to Jake's room for support. I called Eric at work and told him he needed to come home. Between phone calls to my brother, Charlie, to update him and trying to get ahold of Kathy in Reno, time was slipping away. We must have finally left home about 5 pm.

We rushed toward the farm, stopping in Cannon Falls at the McDonald's for a bathroom break and to get a bite of food for the kids. I called my sister Jo from there and Daddy was still hanging on. I asked her to tell him we loved him and were on our way. I told her we'd be there around 8 pm. (Just this past week, we were driving to Rochester and stopped at that McDonald's. While we'd driven past it several times in the last 4 years, we hadn't stopped there again. As we pulled into the parking lot, all those memories came flooding back.)

I sat in the back of the van with Lauren and Evan reading a book borrowed from a family friend. It was called, "Someday Heaven". The book was helpful in explaining to children about death, funerals and Heaven. When we were about 10 minutes from the farm, I thought of calling Jo, but decided against it as we were almost there. As we pulled into the driveway at the farm, I saw my siblings gathered on the steps outside. I knew immediately. I knew Daddy had died. He had died about 10 minutes earlier. I was told Mother was in the living room next to the hospital bed where he lay. I went to her and gave her a big hug and the tears flowed out of both of us. I kissed Daddy on the forehead. He was gone.

While I felt bad that we hadn't made it "in time", I had a peaceful feeling that it was the way it was supposed to be. In hindsight, I know that it would have been very traumatic on my kids to see him struggling at the end. As we looked at my dad lying there, I noticed something. He'd long had a wrinkled crease in his forehead. In death, that crease of stress of gone. His spirit was free. I found comfort in that. I knew his earthly suffering was gone and he was in Heaven where there is no pain or sorrow...only joy.

My niece, Kelly, took a picture of the sunset that night. It was within minutes of my dad's death.  She showed us the picture the next day and it is beautiful. There were some clouds and yet the setting sun was brilliant. It really seemed appropriate. Daddy was leaving the clouds of this life behind and going home to God's brilliant light.

 

It is hard for me to believe it's been four years already. Yet it seems like forever since I last saw Daddy. I've changed in those four years. I don't just mean the gray hairs, wrinkles and extra pounds that have found me. Something inside has changed. I like to think it's for the better. I am learning to let go of things that I can't change. I've learned the only person I can change is myself. And I am learning to accept who I am, something I struggled with for a long time. Mostly, I think I've grown in my faith. I've seen many amazing things in these last four years...things that point directly to God. Daddy always said, "God works in mysterious ways." I know he would be happy that I have witnessed some of those amazing ways and that they strengthened my faith.

 

The four years that have passed are but the blink of an eye in Heaven's eternity. I know that I will see both of my parents again, when I am called Home. Until then, I silently tell them those final words I said to Daddy on Easter morning of 2009: "See you next time!"

Snow Days

Our kids had a snow day from school this past week. It was Lauren and Evan's second snow day ever and Danielle's third. It's not that we don't get much snow here. It's just that being in the city, roads get cleared faster and buses aren't traveling country roads. Back on the farm, we had lots of snow days. I remember listening to the radio and TV just waiting to hear that school was cancelled after a big snowfall. The minute it was announced that Caledonia was closed for the day, the cheering began! Here, we just assume that school will go on as usual. But when it is cancelled, we actually get an automated phone call announcing the closure. Early this past Wednesday morning, I was out shoveling the driveway. We had gotten several inched of snow overnight. Suddenly, Evan came out of the house screaming. I thought something happened to our new puppy. But Evan was hollering that school was cancelled! When I looked down at his feet, I realized he'd been so excited to tell me the news, he had run outside barefoot!

While the snow day this week was exciting for the kids, the one they got last year was one I'll never forget. Or maybe it's just the timing I will never forget. It happened on Leap Day, February 29. That was my mom's birthday. Being a Leap Day baby, she only had a "real" birthday every four years. When she had a real birthday, we always made a big deal out of it. The family would all gather to celebrate. Mother would receive cards and phone calls from what seemed like half the town of Caledonia. When I was in high school, the Caledonia Argus did an article on her having this special birth date. She commented in her interview that her youngest daughter (me) was older than she was. By the time of her death in 2011, she had grand kids that were older than she was. I recently found newspaper notices from 1928 and 1932 telling of birthday parties my grandma threw in honor of my mom's first two "real" birthdays.

The winter of 2011-2012 brought very little snowfall to the Twin Cities. During the last week of February, the forecast was calling for a big snowstorm to hit on Feb 29. I told the kids that Grandma must be up in Heaven trying to convince God to let them have a snow day. Not only was it her first birthday since she died, it was a "real" birthday to boot. As the week went on, the forecast changed a few times. By the time we went to bed on Feb 28, it appeared we would get little or no snow. But while we slept, the snow began to fall. And it began to accumulate. By morning, there were several inches on the ground. Just before 6 a.m. our phone rang. It was an automated message announcing that school was cancelled for the day due to the weather! By about 6:10, our kids were outside playing in the snow. It's humorous to me how early the kids are wide awake on a snow day. On regular school days, they can hardly drag themselves out of bed.



Mother with her 20th birthday cake in 2004



When you lose someone you love, the "firsts" are very difficult. I knew that Mother's first birthday after she was gone would be hard. The fact that it was a "real" birthday would make it harder. But that snowstorm, that snow day, on that Feb.29, made it impossible for me to feel sadness. Of course I still missed her and wished she was still alive. I wished I could call her and wish her a happy birthday and tell her that I loved her. But some how, all I could do that day was think of Mother and smile. Leap Day only comes once every four years. Snow days here generally come even less frequently. Yet those two things happened on the same day. Maybe Mother really did whisper in God's ear and convinced him to give my kids a snow day. That thought stayed with me the entire day and made that "first" a little easier for me to deal with.



Whether or not things like that actually happen in Heaven, I don't know. But I know how much Mother loved her family. I know that God loves us that much too. They'd both knew I would be home alone that entire day if the kids were in school. They both knew me well enough to know I would have had a difficult day as I remembered and missed her. So I can just imagine Mother and God coming up with the idea of a snow day for my kids on that day. That way I wouldn't be alone and the "magic" of the snow day on her birthday would make me smile. The thought of it still makes me smile. And I know that on every Feb. 29, I will re-tell the story of that snow day. Well planned God and Mother....well planned!



Blizzard Babies

How much do you know about your mom's pregnancy with you? How about your birth story? All I know is that I was born on my sister Linda's confirmation day, one day before my due date. I also know that if I was a boy, my name would have been Kelly Dale. In the past, parents didn't share many of those details with their children. My kids have been told far more about my pregnancies and their birth stories than us kids ever were. But, I bet if I asked each of my siblings which of our birth stories they know the most about, they would all answer the same: "Charlie."

In early March of 1959, Mother was due with her sixth child. The winter of 1958-1959 was the snowiest winter on record for Houston County, Minnesota. Almost 92 inches of snow fell that winter, 45 of them in March alone. My mom often told the story of how every weekend in February and March, there seemed to be another snowstorm. At times the snow was so deep that the milk truck could only make it to the neighbors just up the road from us. Then Daddy would put full milk cans onto wooden skis that he had made and skied the milk over the fences to the neighbors to be picked up by the milk truck. The ditches were already drifted full when the snow started on March 5, 1959. Over the next 3 days, 18.5 inches of snow came down. That, accompanied by strong winds, caused blizzard conditions.


The morning of March 6, started out just like any other Saturday morning at our house. My sisters, Linda and Jo, were busy watching cartoons on TV. (They still can't agree as to whether they were watching Mighty Mouse, Pixie and Dixie or Tom and Jerry!) Just a mile further down the road, our neighbors began calling to have a snowplow sent out to clear the road. The reason? The wife, Nadine, had gone into labor. The roads were completely blocked by huge snowdrifts and there was no way Nadine's husband, LaVern, could get her to the hospital. He had gotten his car stuck trying to get out of his driveway. Two snowplows were sent out, but it took a good part of the day to clear the 8 miles to their house. Nadine knew that my mom was also pregnant and due about the same time as she was. So, she called to let my mom know that the snowplows were clearing the road and to see how my mom was doing. Mother said she was fine. Nadine and LaVern offered to take Mother with them, just in case she should go into labor, but Mother said there were no signs of labor. I am willing to bet that she was also thinking that she had four children at home that she needed to care for and that with the weather as it was, she was needed at home. Daddy, though, thought differently. He told her that she needed to go with LaVern and Nadine, just in case. If she didn't, and she went into labor, the snowplows would have to make another trip, as the snow was still falling steadily and the wind was blowing fiercely. I also am betting that Daddy was thinking about my mom's last pregnancy. One and a half years earlier, Mother had given birth to my sister, Cindy, who was stillborn due to a cord accident. I am sure that Daddy knew if something happened to this baby and Mother wasn't at the hospital, she would blame herself. So he insisted that she go to the hospital, even though she wasn't yet in labor. (Luckily, my Grandma Betz lived with my family at that time, so she was able to care for my 4 oldest siblings.)

Several hours later, the snowplows made it past our house, and continued on for the last mile to the neighbors' house. A while later, Uncle Dale climbed up the ladder of the windmill so he could see when the snowplows were on their way back. I have always found it funny that he climbed up there in treacherous conditions so he could let Daddy know when Mother needed to be down at the road to be picked up. As the snowplows headed back toward our farm, LaVern and Nadine followed behind the first snowplow in their car (which the snowplow drivers had helped LaVern dig out). The second snowplow followed behind their car. When they came over the hill just west of our farm, they saw Dale at the top of the windmill. They stopped at our driveway long enough to pick up Mother and headed for the Caledonia Hospital. Daddy stayed at the farm to do chores. The plow drivers warned LaVern to let them escort him all the way to the hospital as the streets in Caledonia hadn't yet been plowed. I have often imagined the scene at the hospital when LaVern arrived with not one, but two very pregnant women. It's probably a good thing it was a small town and everyone knew each other. I can only imagine the rumors that would have started circulating otherwise.

After dropping the women off at the hospital, LaVern left his car there and walked to his parents house where he would be staying. The streets were unplowed so his car couldn't make it through. He had recently had hernia surgery and had a hired man at the farm to do chores for him. That was the only reason he was able to stay in Caledonia. LaVern's parents lived near the Catholic Church, which was a good hike from the Caledonia Hospital on a good day. Considering the snowfall and his recent surgery, it must have been a very tough hike for LaVern. When he arrived at their house, there was so much snow that the front door was inaccessible. He climbed a snowdrift to a second story window and removed the screen so he could get into the house. The following morning, he went out the window and down the drift again and shoveled the doors out.


I am not sure if my mom was checked into the hospital as soon as she arrived or if they had her sit in the waiting room, but she still had no signs of labor. Shortly after midnight, on March 7, 1959, Nadine gave birth to her daughter, Beverly. A few hours later, Mother delivered my brother, Charles Michael (Charles after my Grandpa Charlie and Michael after my mom's favorite uncle, Mike). The phone at the farm rang early that morning letting my dad know that he had a healthy baby boy.  I recall hearing that it was several days before the roads were in good enough condition for Daddy to make it to town to see his new son. The first time that Daddy made it to the hospital for a visit, LaVern joked with him and asked Daddy if he needed him to bring Maxine and the new baby home for him too.

In June of 2011, when my mom was in hospice, Bev's sister-in-law, Sandy, stopped in to visit. Sandy and her husband now live on that farm where Laverne and Nadine lived. She works at the hospital where Mother died. LaVern and Nadine had both already passed away. Sandy told us a very touching story of signs from God that she'd witnessed after LaVern's death. As she was getting ready to leave, she said to Mother, "Maxine, I reckon you are getting ready to go and see Earl again.  When you get there, be sure to say "Hi" to LaVern and Nadine for me." That reduced me to tears. I am sure Mother did tell them "Hi" when she made it to Heaven. And I'm sure that Mother and Daddy and LaVern and Nadine are all sitting up in Heaven now, reminiscing about that snowy day all those years ago when Charlie and Bev were born.